Regaining Innocence
by Koji4ever
Summary: Sins dont just wash away. You have to rub and scratch at them, until they disappear...until they bleed. Masochistic Sasuke oneshot. Implied self harm and non-con.


**Regaining Innocence.**

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Transparent drops leaked from the shower head.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Each one lands quietly on a boy's pale back.

Reaching a slender arm out, bony fingers twist the rusty handle.

Steamy liquid hastily pours out, soaking the boy's raven hair.

Feet shuffle against rough porcelain, its shine long gone.

Glassy ebony eyes stare at the foggy mirror behind the clear shower curtains.

A faint gasp escapes cracked lips as his gaze is shifted downward.

Flashes of the moments before fill the boy's shathered mind.

Knees stumble, bending slightly.

Skeletal hands grasp the dull tiled walls.

_You are mine._

One hand rushes to cover his mouth.

_And no one else's._

The other one quickly follows, letting go of the wall.

_That's why, I can taint you._

His breath is stuck in his throat.

_That's why I can force you to commit these sins._

Eyes widen with fear.

_Of __**Betrayal**_

A tear falls, and rolls down his slim cheek.

_Because you are mine._

The tear is lost in the sea of shower water.

_Mine, and no one else's._

Eyes returning to normal, he blinks the thoughts away.

Regaining composure. The hand reaches for the bar of smooth ivory soap.

Taking the bar into his hand, he holds it firmly.

With a small smirk, he rubs the soap over his arms. Over his torso.

He stops suddenly, disgusted with a particular part of his body.

Ignoring it, he works on the area under it. Past his thighs.

After many minutes of scrubbing every other part of his body he winces.

Looking down he frowns. Thoughts of suicide invade his mind.

Yet he pushes them away. ignoring them to the best of his ability.

He starts to wash it, relief flooding his body as all the leftover filth rinses away.

Watching all the water swirl down the drain. Imagining his sins are leaving with them.

A sense of cleaniness fills his mind. Believing he has once again found his innocence...

He turns off the water, pushes the curtains to the side, and steps out of the bathtub.

-xoxo-

The night had been especially rough.

He felt more dirty than he had ever before.

Throwing the dirty sheets off himself, he slipped off the bed that consisted of his _lover_.

Rushing to his room of escape. Naked and..._tainted_.

He quickly twists the squeaky handles for the shower head and stepped into the bathtub.

The water faltered for a few seconds before drenching the boy.

Letting a sigh leave his throat he reached for a familar bar of soap.

Rubbing it in his hands under the water for a short moment he was satistfied.

Clear bubbles covered the soap in his hands.

Wasting no time he scrubbed his body.

His movements were quick and swift, yet as gentle as a feather.

Reaching that dreaded part of his body again he only gave himself a second of hesitation.

Once all the soap was applied, he let the shower's water wash over him.

After minutes of pure water, he looked once again in the mirror through the curtains.

His eyes widened as he saw himself. Covered in **filth**.

Panicing, he reached for the soap again. He looked down at his body and gasped.

Invisible cum covered his lithe skin.

A spark of desperation invaded his mind. A need to feel _clean_ again washed over him.

He took the shrunken bar of soap and rubbed his whole body.

He turned the water to the hottest temperature.

He scrubbed at himself desperately, Once. Twice. Again. And again.

**Nothing worked.**

Dread was filling his mind. He felt dirty. Completely dirty.

He needed to be clean. He needed to feel relived.

He needed to make his sins **disappear.**

Tears were leaking from his eyes. One even landed on his tongue.

He could taste the saltiness. The failure.

He quickly turned off the shower head. And the scorching water filled the bathtub.

Sitting down, he felt the water practically burn his skin.

He still saw the filth on him. It just wasn't going away.

Insanity was taking over him. He scratched at his arms. His legs. Everywhere.

Just to get that disgusting dirt off him.

The skin was peeling off, the marks where his fingernails once were turning a light red.

A drop of familar crimson liquid rolled off his arm.

He looked at it in fascination.

The way it stained the water, made it a more _interesting_ color.

He made more cuts on himself with his nails.

The crimson fluid made the water a pale red. It was beautiful.

_I want to be that color. I want to be beautiful like that again..._

He closed his eyes.

_Finally..._

Letting his arms slip in the slightly cooler water.

Next came his neck. Lastly, his head.

He smiled in the water. A real smile. A beautiful smile.

_Im innocent again._

-xoxo-

**Beeeeeep.**

**The machine was drawing a straight line.**

**The heartbeat was gone.**

**A chrous of sighs echoed through the small room.**

**A man with a long white jacket closed his eyes as he walked out of the room.**

**Another man dressed in a similar white jacket approached him.**

**Remembering what he heard, young boy of thirteen years. **

**Drowning in a tub of blood water. **

**"How's he doing?" He asked, worry etched in his features. The other man sighed.**

**"He's gone Doctor. Sasuke Uchiha is gone."**

Fin.

Koji4ever: Wow. This story is _kind of_ depressing. The idea came to me at like 4am. I couldn't sleep so this idea just popped into my head. I had to write it down and share it. The writing style/format is a little weird...and I felt a need to post a story since I haven't for about half a year. (ohemgee) Oh and don't kill me for the major OOCness of Sasuke-kun (: he's so cute when he's confused. -hearts- Well. tell me what'cha think :D -hands out sasuke plushies- have a nice day (;

leave suggestions! -huggs-


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